.png)
🌌✨ Too Diverse? Not Diverse Enough?
- Retro Sonya
- 3 days ago
- 9 min read
🌌⚡ Either Way, It’s Just Comparison.⚡🌌
A Totally Tubular Synthwave Devotional!
OK guys, I just wanna say before I begin... this is for entertainment purposes only, for laughs and giggles, and some good medicine for those who are sick of this propaganda showing up on their feeds about "who wore it better" or "who is the most special snowflake 101". It's stupid! So let's begin, shall we?
Picture it: the year is neon forever. The grid stretches into infinity, leg warmers are back in style (again), and the world’s still playing the same tired comparison game.
On one side of the strip mall runway, the platinum blondes are getting the publicity like every slight variation of tone is “revolutionary.” Ash blonde, strawberry blonde, platinum—wow, so groundbreaking. 🙄
On the other side: raven-haired beauties throwing shade because American Eagle didn’t include them in their ad campaign, or Sydney Sweeney didn’t bring them into her “good jeans” glow. And now GAP is at it with their rumored "blonde exclusion" ad campaign. 🙄
Suddenly, brunettes and ravens are “not diverse enough” to handle—or maybe just not trendy enough for the Sydney fan crowd while the woke mob cheers.
And we’re all supposed to care? Dude! Let me just settle this argument once and for all!
🦅 Raven Hair, Chill Out—It’s Just a Pair of Jeans 🌌
So apparently, raven-haired beauties are mad at Sydney Sweeney’s American Eagle ad.
Why? Because it “wasn’t diverse enough.” Why? Because she’s white and blonde?
First off—newsflash: she’s not even a natural blonde. 👀 But okay, let’s give credit where it’s due—yeah, she’s beautiful. No hate there. But to say her being featured is some kind of disrespect to your entire community? That’s stretching denim harder than a pair of acid-wash skinnies from 1987.
Here’s the deal: ALL of us are created with beauty and purpose. God didn’t hand out His “good jeans” coupon exclusively to blondes and red-haired queens. Everyone got issued their own cosmic pair. ✝️
And honestly? How about we stop fighting over who gets the ad space and start lifting each other up? ‘Cause when you spend all your neon energy trying to hog the spotlight, you miss the bigger world out there—a world that runs deeper than appearances.
Remember: someone else’s success doesn’t cancel yours.
If Sydney Sweeney got the AE ad, that doesn’t mean you got deleted from existence. It just means she got booked, and you still look rad in your own good jeans.
Complaining about blondes in ads is like complaining MTV played too much Madonna in the 80s—yeah, true, but also… deal with it. Raven-haired girls mad at “good jeans”? Relax, you’ve got great genes, too. DNA doesn’t lie. Diversity isn’t a hair color chart at the salon. God made it way bigger than that.
At the end of the day, Barbie, Theresa, and Raven can all sit at the same neon diner booth. The jukebox still plays, the milkshakes still glow, and the world is still turning. The real question is—are we gonna keep bickering over who got the spotlight, or start celebrating each other's wins instead? ⚡🌌
You wanna know more about this? Check out Neon Lessons from Bruce Turgon!
Because truly being happy for others is a rare strength!
💇♀️ Cool Story, Barbie—But Theresa's Got the Range, too! 🌌
Just when you thought it couldn't be more ridiculous, GAP releases an advert with all raven-haired beauties (and one brunette in the mix), and now the nordicists lose their minds. Oh boy! It goes like this:
((Where's the blondes? Where is the diversity?))
And now the hair color wars begin.🙄
Weren't you the ones complaining about the wokies telling you that you're not diverse enough? Because you're white and blonde? Now you gotta clap back with the same weak roast? That oughta teach 'em right? God help us. 😒
So, now the blondes are acting like they’ve been evicted from the club, when really they’ve been VIP since the dawn of shampoo commercials.
My, my, sweet cheeks — we’re all unique. God didn’t clone beauty; He handcrafted it like neon fingerprints.
Balance restored, disco ball spinning. 💿
((Oh! All brown hair and brown eyes? Yeah, real diverse.))
Brunettes are "not diverse"? Wow! I feel attacked. 🤨 This sounds like the same talking points that the wokies on the left made the other day. All I hear are a bunch of crybaby sob stories on TikTok and FB going back and forth while the whole world is rolling their eyes:🙄 Oh brother. What does this sound like again?
((😭😭😭😭 I didn't get featured in an ad.))
Why don't you go to McDonald's and order a Wahmburger and some French Cries!?
Jokes aside:
What a better way to cause more hatred and division between people than an online hair color competition? Thanx woke propaganda and the nordicist crew! I'm gonna let you all slug it out, and eat your own words. 'Cause you all are making absolute fools out of yourselves.
Gen X take:
"Really? That’s what we’re dying on a hill for? Blonde vs. Brunette: The Denim Wars, Season One. Coming soon to Netflix, right after Tiger King 12.
Gen X sees this nonsense and just shrugs. We were raised on dial-up, drinking from hoses, and watching our parents argue over who got the good VHS recorder. Y’all really think we’re going to lose sleep because somebody thinks brunettes are “not diverse enough” or blondes are “not diverse enough”? Please. Call us when your hair glows in the dark like a Lite-Brite — then we’ll talk.
Until then? We’ll be over here listening to mixtapes, laughing at how you all managed to turn jeans ads into World War Hair.
Mic dropped." 🎤✨
Seriously though...
What kind of world are we living in? We judge a woman by the shade of her hair, its crazy! 🤯
'Caus she has a heart like you have a heart, so.... why can't we be color blind?
(("Don't hate on me for my looks while I hate on yours")) mentality 101:
Awww cry me a river! Sure, there are non-whites and brunettes who hate people with paler features, and there are also those with pale features who hate everyone else. So, what's the answer to this? To throw more hate at another person or group for their looks, right? Sounds like someone wasn't the center of attention that day, and now they're throwing a temper tantrum online. (("Don't hate on me while I hate you"?)) Hypocrite much?
And now for the pretext:
((But we blondes are recessive and special. We are of the 2% We ARE the diversity!))
Special? Cool story, Barbie. But God didn’t mass-produce brunettes and ravens — They're all custom-made, just like you.
I'm not one of many. I'm one of one, sweat cheeks! This Theresa over here is as diverse as it gets.
Let’s talk about the cosmic comedy here. Brunettes are literally the most diverse in shade range on the planet. From chestnut to espresso, caramel to dark chocolate, auburn to mahogany—we’re rocking the full neon spectrum. And yet somehow… we’re not diverse enough? 😂 Funny that! We're all diverse, from fingerprints to DNA. Ain't that right, Barbie?
You know... You could just let Theresa have her moment to shine, too! But noooo! You just gotta re-direct the attention onto yourself, as if the entire world should revolve around you ALL THE TIME! And what does this sound like? Those salty Ravens getting mad at a Sydney Sweeney ad, huh? Ya'll are doing the same thing they are! 😏
It’s amazing, isn’t it? The second there’s even a hint of spotlight for dark-haired queens, someone pipes up with: (("But what about us?”)) Like, sis… you’ve got Sydney Sweeney, the poster child of “good jeans,” plastered everywhere already.
Honey, you got the good jeans. Brunettes and ravens? We’ve got good jeans, too. So there—balance restored. Cosmic equality achieved. Neon peace treaty signed. ⚡🌌
Or maybe... You don't really want other women to have their shine, too?🤷🏻♀️ One could say that's also hateful.
Yeah, equality sounds cool… until brunettes and ravens show up to the party, huh? Now it's a pity party. Then suddenly it’s like: ((Losers. Playing “I want to be cool too”, “can I play with you?”)) 😆
I'm not cool enough for you? That's ok. My God loves me anyway. I'm not cool? That's alright. I'm still precious in his sight. I'm not cool. I don't care what you think about my hair. 😁
🌐 Hair Politics & The “Wokie” Wars:
So now we’ve got wokies storming the gates: (("American Eagle is disrespecting us! It's either her or us!”))
Ok, I get it. Nobody likes being excluded. When you’re left out of the picture, of course, you feel that sting — human nature 101. But here’s the thing: we can’t all be the main character every single time. Sometimes you’re the star, sometimes you’re just the backup dancer in the neon music video. And that’s fine!
Instead of throwing denim shade back and forth, imagine how tubular it would be if we actually celebrated each other’s wins. That would be empowering — both sides of the hair color spectrum shining like glowsticks at a Depeche Mode concert.
But nope. What do we get instead? Snowflake Syndrome™. Everybody wants to be the center of attention, everybody wants to be the rarest gem in the arcade claw machine, the “chosen one,” the special edition holographic trading card. Bigger slice of the pie? Forget that — people want the whole pie, the fork, and the neon plate it’s served on.
Self-centered. Self-important. “It’s all about me” mentality cranked up to 11. Meanwhile, Gen X is just sitting back like: “Wake me up when y’all are done fighting over crayons in the hair-color box.”
This brings us to our next point!
😎 OK, You Both Shut Up! Gen X Says So! (And Xennials)
Funny how both sides say they want equal representation, but what they really want is a front-row seat on the neon runway with everyone else in the back row. It’s like ordering a “share size” pack of M&Ms but eating all the peanut ones yourself. 🥜 Or like when your sibling says, “We’ll split the pizza evenly,” and then suddenly they’ve got all the slices with extra cheese. 🍕 Equality sounds tubular on paper, but some folks secretly want “Equality*™”—you know, where they still get 80% of the ad space and the rest get the leftovers. 🙃
Alright, brunettes, ravens, blondes, redheads—whoever’s holding the mic this week. Let me channel my inner Gen X for a second.
Seriously. Do you know how exhausting it is to watch people argue over hair shade ad space like it’s a world crisis? We survived dial-up internet. We survived drinking from garden hoses. We even survived Crystal Pepsi. And you’re out here crying over who got to model the “good jeans”? Please. 🙄
Gen X motto: “Nobody cares, life’s not fair, now pass me a Tab and let’s get on with it.”
Newsflash: The world does not revolve around your follicles. Comparison is just a hamster wheel on neon overdrive. And if you’re spending all your time crying over blonde vs. brunette vs. raven spotlight drama, you’re missing the bigger show.
God already settled this decades ago:
“Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
Translation: 👉 “Stop whining about the packaging. It’s what’s inside that matters.”
So yeah. Brunettes, you’ve got the most shades on the planet. Blondes, you’ve got ad campaigns on lock. Ravens, you’ve got that gothic glow that never fades. Congrats, everybody’s a winner.
Now hush up, plug in the Walkman, and let’s blast some Depeche Mode. ⚡🎶
Or.... you can just blame it on the Jews... like some people do. But that'll just make you look like some neo-Na$$i Nordicist on steroids who thinks they're doing the world a favor by regurgitating conspiracies about the ZOG on Twitter 24/7. Why not do something meaningful with your life for a change? Same nonsense. Different day.
Either way, it's your choice! I chose peace, some Depeche Mode, and a Capri Sun to boot! Who cares about hair color trends? It's meaningless, anyway.
Here’s the deal: missing out on an ad campaign isn’t oppression.
That’s not persecution—it’s just marketing. Meanwhile, across the globe, Christians are getting jailed, silenced, and even killed for their faith. That’s the real targeting. ✝️
But instead of neon laser focus on Christ, people are stuck playing the world’s favorite arcade: The Comparison Game™. And spoiler alert—it’s rigged.
Paul already called it out in 2 Corinthians 10:12:
“They who compare themselves among themselves, or classify themselves among themselves, they are without understanding.”
Translation:👉 “Yo, comparing yourself to others is as pointless as paying a VHS rewind fee.”
Our value isn't based on what we have or don't have. Comparison is a broken joystick. No matter how hard you slam the buttons, you’re not winning.
Because God? He’s not looking at your surface tones—whether chocolate, ruby red, platinum, raven, or ash. He looks at the heart. And when the King of Kings sees you, He doesn’t see “common.” He sees custom-made. And you are not to be compared to anyone else!
Not mass-produced. Not a knock-off. Not a bargain bin cassette. Custom-made, chosen, set apart! I'll never fade!
If you like what I do, be sure to leave a comment, subscribe to the mailing list below, and get 2 free 80s-inspired songs. You can also check out my original "Rainbow of Promise" music album on Spotify or anywhere you can find music!
Catch you on the flip side, legends!
Retro Sonya out!
Comments